12 February 2017

January in a Nutshell

Hopefully, I'll make this into a blog series, so that I'll post regularly. In the meantime, you can follow me on Dayre, Twitter, and Instagram (shameless self-promo omg). 


It's now February and I'm just going to talk about my highlights for last month. Although there are only 31 days in January, a lot had happened and I'm going to share a few of the moments I can remember.

Honestly, this month I was stressed with assignments and exams preparations. I have assignments due every two days in a week, and I (and I think most of my classmates) didn't really care much about our grades anymore. For our final major assignment, I think most of us didn't care about the guidelines anymore; we just want to pass it up before the submission dateline. That's Arts and Humanities students for you lol. 

For the first few days of January, everything was going well; I still had that "new years motivation" and if you read my previous post, you would know that being positive in every aspect is one of my resolutions. No matter how shitty my day was, I had to constantly pull myself together and tell myself "it's okay because this will pass and you'll get over it." I just had to motivate myself to be positive, you know? And that helped for the first few weeks or so until something happened and everything just became negative again. It's funny how long it took me to feel genuinely happy and positive after a long time, but it took less than a day to put myself back in a negative, depressing hole.

I do want to talk about this issue but at the same time, I want to forget about it and leave it all in the past. One thing's for sure, I now know who my real friends are; who's there for me when I'm at my lowest and who's not. I'm so mad at myself for always giving people chances and giving them the benefit of the doubt. At the end of the day, I'm always the one that ends up hurt. I don't believe in karma, but I hope one day, maybe 10-30 years down the line, whatever you did to me, it will happen to you or your bloodline two times worst. I know that sounds rather harsh, but I'm sure if you've been hurt by the same group of people over and over again, for different and petty issues, you'd wish the same.

Let's talk about that one time I got kicked out of exam hall because I came late for my General Studies exam LOL. So, my GS exam started at 8:30 AM and I arrived campus 20 minutes later due to the jam. You can obviously tell it's my fault, like I'm not even going to deny it ok. I severely underestimated the jam that day but whatever, it's my fault nonetheless. So, I'm already late for an exam I'm obligated to take, I found out I have to seek approval because I was late for more than 15 minutes wtf. I had to look for Mr Adrian(who I assume is the Head of the GS subjects in my university), and seek his approval to sit for my paper. I went to the office and he gave me a fucking attitude. At 9 AM!!!!

I guess I'm used to college exam rules where invigilators don't give a single flying shit if you arrive late. I mean, if you're late then it's your loss la right? You get lesser time to do your paper. Why do I need an approval to sit for a paper I'm already late for? 

Anyway, Mr Adrian cynically said that if I want to sit for this paper, I have to register this subject AGAIN and take it next semester. WTF man? Fuck no. What a waste of my 4 months! CCB my parents pay so much per semester for their daughter to receive this kind of attitude, is it? Mr Adrian didn't even look at me in the eye when talking to me. He was just spinning himself on his office chair and looked elsewhere. I wished he fell down from his chair okay he deserved it!!!! He could've explained to me nicely and I wouldn't have a problem with it. It was my fault, anyway. To make shit worst, another latecomer asked him, if it was mandatory to take General Studies if we plan to transfer to Australia and CB Mr Adrian sarcastically replied him, "That is if you can transfer to Australia." WTF BRO please spare us the attitude okay, it's only 9 AM. 

The usual time slot for GS is from 6-8 PM and I cannot understand why the exam wasn't done at that time? I agree that it's much better and convenient to do the exams in the morning, but most of us are already used to staying back until 8 PM anyway. Also, Mr Adrian, you could have just told us our reason is not valid, therefore you can't allow us to sit for it. I would have just left the office and go on with my day. Why the attitude? Did my parents pay RM 15K to get this kind of service from the university's staffs? I sincerely hope you get fired from your job.


I can't wait to see what February has in store for me. If there are any grammar errors, please forgive me for I did not proofread whatever I just wrote lol. Anyway, I'm back on Dayre, so do follow me!

31 January 2017

[REVIEW] Innisfree Soy Essence Waterproof Volume Mascara

I didn't realise my one and only mascara had expired on the 12th of January, and I've been using this until the end of this month wtf. I reckon now would be a good time to review this, since I most definitely need to get myself a new one soon.

Innisfree is undoubtedly number one in my "Korean Beauty Brands" list, for a number of reasons. One of it is due to its price; it's relatively cheaper compared to other popular brands like Etude House, and Tony Moly. Not to mention, its products are eco-friendly, made with natural ingredients, and the packaging for most, if not all, of their products, are made from recycled paper. They also use soy ink for printing! I love whatever brands that do not test on animals and contribute to the earth. 

Sometime last year, I bought the Innisfree Soy Essence Waterproof Mascara (what a mouthful) at their store in Sunway Pyramid. The store had just opened so I thought I'd see what they have. Innisfree sold two types of mascaras; volumising and curling. I bought the former because I prefer more volume than curls.

This mascara claims to give my lashes more volume, and it claims to be waterproof. It also mentions that it contains soy essence from black beans but, I don't really know what good soy essences do for my lashes hahaha. Just like the rest of Innisfree's products, it contains no harsh ingredients and it's all natural! When I saw the tube, I didn't really know if the shade was black or brown, because it wasn't stated on the mascara tube. There also wasn't any tester for me to check the colour so, I just picked it up, queued and prayed that it's black. To my relieve, it is intensely black. 

Okay, so let's get to the real review wtf

Does this mascara give more volume to my lashes? It did, but it's nothing other mascaras can't do. I mean, I didn't expect it to give me double volume or anything like that but I was kinda underwhelmed wtf *queue WDYM by JB*. Anyway, it does what it says and it gets the job done.
Is it waterproof? I can confirm that it is indeed waterproof. I've cried one too many times while having this on to know that it won't run down my face. I also went back late from clubs and slept with my makeup one one too many times to know that it stays on for hours and won't smudge (you see, this is why I can't go off on Accutane yet LMAO). I actually really like this mascara and the fact that it's so much cheaper (RM 45, but I might be wrong) compared to other popular brands makes me like it more. Besides that, I also find this mascara rather creamy (don't know if that's the right way to describe it lol) so that helps coat my lashes really well.

Me, attempting to show off my lashes wtf

Removing this off at the end of the day is easier compared to other waterproof mascaras I've tried. I'm currently using a water-based makeup remover, and it's common knowledge that removing waterproof makeup using a water-based remover is almost impossible. However, this mascara came off (albeit in clumps) really well. I've tried removing other waterproof mascaras with the same makeup remover and sometimes they don't come out at all. It will be a nightmare for me to apply mascara the next day because there's still some residue from my previous application. Ew, right!!?

I think the only issue I have with this is the wand. I personally think the wand is a bit too big for lower lashes. But IDK la maybe it might be because of my eye shape also wtf.

So the question here is,
Do I recommend it? Yes! Aside from the wand, I actually have no complaints.

Will I repurchase? Definitely, but I think I want to try a different brand for now. lol sorry ya, can't commit to anything wtf.

Overall rating: 5/5!

Thanks for reading my post and I hope I've given enough information about this mascara. Talk to you soon. Xx

UPDATE: I went to Sunway Pyramid and found out they don't sell this mascara anymore GRRRRR. >:(

26 January 2017

My Experience with Accutane + Its Side Effects.

Hey, everyone! I'm back and as you can tell from the title, I'm going to talk about my experience with Accutane. For those of you who don't know what Accutane is, it's prescription drugs mainly used to reduce oils and acnes. In the middle of last year, my skin went through a really bad breakout. It was definitely the worst breakout I had to this date, and I've tried various facial products and acne treatments to combat my acnes but nothing seems to work. If anything, the condition of my skin got worse. Before I go on, let me briefly tell you the condition of my skin prior to Accutane.

Ever since I hit puberty, I've had the oiliest and shiniest skin. After cleansing my face and applying all the necessary products afterwards, oil will start to build up less than an hour later. With that being said, it's pretty obvious that my skin is very much prone to acne. I never had severe acnes growing up - just a few breakouts here and there, especially when it's going to be "that time of the month". So, I didn't really see it as a problem then.

However, I realised my skin got worse during college. At first, I thought it was maybe because of the air and water here since Sarawak does have cleaner air and filtered water (it's a fact that Sarawak waters are cleaner ok don't hate me). I didn't really mind my complexion until I took a good, long look at myself in the mirror one day and realised how much acnes I have from my face. My self-esteem instantly went down the drain - and I didn't even have that much self-esteem, to begin with!!

So, last year in August, I decided to go for a consultation at Ko Skin Specialist Setia Alam branch, to know what's causing this breakout and what can I do to treat them. After the consultation, I got to know that my acnes were mainly due to bad diet and excessive face-touching using my unclean hands (lol). I don't know why I acted so shocked when I heard that because I know it's legitimate and true HAHA. I used to live in a neighbourhood where the KFC and Burger King drive-thru was less than 2KM away from my house, and fast food deliveries take less than 15 minutes to arrive at my doorsteps. It was definitely easier for me to take away fast food than to wait an additional 10 minutes for my food to be done at a cafe or restaurant. I'm also very guilty of not drinking enough mineral water. As long as I have teh ais (iced tea) that day, I can live already tf. 

I also like to touch my face and pop my own pimples. When I was in the consultation room, I kept touching my face without realising and I think the dermatologist got so frustrated at that sight, she freaking slapped my hand so that I'd stop omg. But it only worked for 5 minutes because after that I touched my face again hahaha. 

After explaining the main cause of my breakouts, the derm recommended I try out Accutane to see if it'd work on me. If anyone wants to know the price of the pills, I tell you first lah it's very expensive. The derm insisted I take the pills every day, so I had 30 pills for a month supply. It was RM180 altogether. Derm also gave me antibiotics, which cost me RM60. I know it's a little pricey for some people since you're only paying for pills but nothing else seemed to work for me. I had nothing, but my cash to lose. 

Here is a photo of me taken in August 2016, before Accutane.

fuck can you see the sadness in my eyes hahaha

Anyway, this is how I look like now; 6 months of Accutane. 

Disclaimer: I only had my eye-makeup and lipstick on. No foundation or powder.

The difference is really significant. Overall, Accutane really did help a lot in reducing pimples. HOWEVER, the side effects that come with this were crazy. If you count side effects as cons, then the cons of Accutane definitely outweigh the pros. Some of the side effects I experienced were depression, severe breakouts during the first few weeks (supposed to happen), dry skin and scalp; and chapped lips.

2016, in general, was a rather shitty year for me and I already felt down and sad before Accutane. And I think Accutane led me deeper into the "depression hole". I had friendship problems, personal problems, academic problems. All sorts of problems lah, you name it. I usually don't care about petty friendship issues because I've had friends come and go (and sometimes come back again) too many times already, so it's not something I'm not used to. However, a few weeks into Accutane, I felt like my life is slowly falling apart, and I've made all the wrong life choices and now I have to deal with the consequences. I just fell into deep depression. I honestly felt like I was alone. I have friends to hang out with most of the time, but I don't know why I still feel empty. I'm just never satisfied with whatever I had at that time. 

My dry skin was also another problem. My derm actually told me my skin might get severely dry when taking the pills, but my dumb ass thought it was going to only dry out my face. Apparently not. I have to slather on two pumps of lotion after every shower because my skin is so scaly and itchy. Even waxing my skin is painful for me now. This is a little TMI but, the sides of my inner thighs are constantly dry and itchy, and sometimes it's really uncomfortable for me to walk or even sit down. I'm even afraid to pee for I am scared of the stinging sensation I might feel on my inner thigh wtf.

Nonetheless, the pills seem to work really well for me. After my recent visit to Ko Skin Specialist, my derm told me to reduce my intake (yay!) to a few times a week. Hopefully, I can stop taking Accutane completely by June 2017. 

So there you have it, my thoughts on Accutane. If any of you have severe breakouts and find that whatever product you use, and no matter how much water you drink your acne still wont go away, do consider going to a skin specialist for a consultation. Sometimes, breakouts might be due to hormonal changes, and it's relieving (for me, at least) to know the main cause of your breakouts so that you can know how to properly treat them.

That's all, for now. XX.