12 February 2017

January in a Nutshell

Hopefully, I'll make this into a blog series, so that I'll post regularly. In the meantime, you can follow me on Dayre, Twitter, and Instagram (shameless self-promo omg). 


It's now February and I'm just going to talk about my highlights for last month. Although there are only 31 days in January, a lot had happened and I'm going to share a few of the moments I can remember.

Honestly, this month I was stressed with assignments and exams preparations. I have assignments due every two days in a week, and I (and I think most of my classmates) didn't really care much about our grades anymore. For our final major assignment, I think most of us didn't care about the guidelines anymore; we just want to pass it up before the submission dateline. That's Arts and Humanities students for you lol. 

For the first few days of January, everything was going well; I still had that "new years motivation" and if you read my previous post, you would know that being positive in every aspect is one of my resolutions. No matter how shitty my day was, I had to constantly pull myself together and tell myself "it's okay because this will pass and you'll get over it." I just had to motivate myself to be positive, you know? And that helped for the first few weeks or so until something happened and everything just became negative again. It's funny how long it took me to feel genuinely happy and positive after a long time, but it took less than a day to put myself back in a negative, depressing hole.

I do want to talk about this issue but at the same time, I want to forget about it and leave it all in the past. One thing's for sure, I now know who my real friends are; who's there for me when I'm at my lowest and who's not. I'm so mad at myself for always giving people chances and giving them the benefit of the doubt. At the end of the day, I'm always the one that ends up hurt. I don't believe in karma, but I hope one day, maybe 10-30 years down the line, whatever you did to me, it will happen to you or your bloodline two times worst. I know that sounds rather harsh, but I'm sure if you've been hurt by the same group of people over and over again, for different and petty issues, you'd wish the same.

Let's talk about that one time I got kicked out of exam hall because I came late for my General Studies exam LOL. So, my GS exam started at 8:30 AM and I arrived campus 20 minutes later due to the jam. You can obviously tell it's my fault, like I'm not even going to deny it ok. I severely underestimated the jam that day but whatever, it's my fault nonetheless. So, I'm already late for an exam I'm obligated to take, I found out I have to seek approval because I was late for more than 15 minutes wtf. I had to look for Mr Adrian(who I assume is the Head of the GS subjects in my university), and seek his approval to sit for my paper. I went to the office and he gave me a fucking attitude. At 9 AM!!!!

I guess I'm used to college exam rules where invigilators don't give a single flying shit if you arrive late. I mean, if you're late then it's your loss la right? You get lesser time to do your paper. Why do I need an approval to sit for a paper I'm already late for? 

Anyway, Mr Adrian cynically said that if I want to sit for this paper, I have to register this subject AGAIN and take it next semester. WTF man? Fuck no. What a waste of my 4 months! CCB my parents pay so much per semester for their daughter to receive this kind of attitude, is it? Mr Adrian didn't even look at me in the eye when talking to me. He was just spinning himself on his office chair and looked elsewhere. I wished he fell down from his chair okay he deserved it!!!! He could've explained to me nicely and I wouldn't have a problem with it. It was my fault, anyway. To make shit worst, another latecomer asked him, if it was mandatory to take General Studies if we plan to transfer to Australia and CB Mr Adrian sarcastically replied him, "That is if you can transfer to Australia." WTF BRO please spare us the attitude okay, it's only 9 AM. 

The usual time slot for GS is from 6-8 PM and I cannot understand why the exam wasn't done at that time? I agree that it's much better and convenient to do the exams in the morning, but most of us are already used to staying back until 8 PM anyway. Also, Mr Adrian, you could have just told us our reason is not valid, therefore you can't allow us to sit for it. I would have just left the office and go on with my day. Why the attitude? Did my parents pay RM 15K to get this kind of service from the university's staffs? I sincerely hope you get fired from your job.


I can't wait to see what February has in store for me. If there are any grammar errors, please forgive me for I did not proofread whatever I just wrote lol. Anyway, I'm back on Dayre, so do follow me!

31 January 2017

[REVIEW] Innisfree Soy Essence Waterproof Volume Mascara

I didn't realise my one and only mascara had expired on the 12th of January, and I've been using this until the end of this month wtf. I reckon now would be a good time to review this, since I most definitely need to get myself a new one soon.

Innisfree is undoubtedly number one in my "Korean Beauty Brands" list, for a number of reasons. One of it is due to its price; it's relatively cheaper compared to other popular brands like Etude House, and Tony Moly. Not to mention, its products are eco-friendly, made with natural ingredients, and the packaging for most, if not all, of their products, are made from recycled paper. They also use soy ink for printing! I love whatever brands that do not test on animals and contribute to the earth. 

Sometime last year, I bought the Innisfree Soy Essence Waterproof Mascara (what a mouthful) at their store in Sunway Pyramid. The store had just opened so I thought I'd see what they have. Innisfree sold two types of mascaras; volumising and curling. I bought the former because I prefer more volume than curls.

This mascara claims to give my lashes more volume, and it claims to be waterproof. It also mentions that it contains soy essence from black beans but, I don't really know what good soy essences do for my lashes hahaha. Just like the rest of Innisfree's products, it contains no harsh ingredients and it's all natural! When I saw the tube, I didn't really know if the shade was black or brown, because it wasn't stated on the mascara tube. There also wasn't any tester for me to check the colour so, I just picked it up, queued and prayed that it's black. To my relieve, it is intensely black. 

Okay, so let's get to the real review wtf

Does this mascara give more volume to my lashes? It did, but it's nothing other mascaras can't do. I mean, I didn't expect it to give me double volume or anything like that but I was kinda underwhelmed wtf *queue WDYM by JB*. Anyway, it does what it says and it gets the job done.
Is it waterproof? I can confirm that it is indeed waterproof. I've cried one too many times while having this on to know that it won't run down my face. I also went back late from clubs and slept with my makeup one one too many times to know that it stays on for hours and won't smudge (you see, this is why I can't go off on Accutane yet LMAO). I actually really like this mascara and the fact that it's so much cheaper (RM 45, but I might be wrong) compared to other popular brands makes me like it more. Besides that, I also find this mascara rather creamy (don't know if that's the right way to describe it lol) so that helps coat my lashes really well.

Me, attempting to show off my lashes wtf

Removing this off at the end of the day is easier compared to other waterproof mascaras I've tried. I'm currently using a water-based makeup remover, and it's common knowledge that removing waterproof makeup using a water-based remover is almost impossible. However, this mascara came off (albeit in clumps) really well. I've tried removing other waterproof mascaras with the same makeup remover and sometimes they don't come out at all. It will be a nightmare for me to apply mascara the next day because there's still some residue from my previous application. Ew, right!!?

I think the only issue I have with this is the wand. I personally think the wand is a bit too big for lower lashes. But IDK la maybe it might be because of my eye shape also wtf.

So the question here is,
Do I recommend it? Yes! Aside from the wand, I actually have no complaints.

Will I repurchase? Definitely, but I think I want to try a different brand for now. lol sorry ya, can't commit to anything wtf.

Overall rating: 5/5!

Thanks for reading my post and I hope I've given enough information about this mascara. Talk to you soon. Xx

UPDATE: I went to Sunway Pyramid and found out they don't sell this mascara anymore GRRRRR. >:(

26 January 2017

My Experience with Accutane + Its Side Effects.

Hey, everyone! I'm back and as you can tell from the title, I'm going to talk about my experience with Accutane. For those of you who don't know what Accutane is, it's prescription drugs mainly used to reduce oils and acnes. In the middle of last year, my skin went through a really bad breakout. It was definitely the worst breakout I had to this date, and I've tried various facial products and acne treatments to combat my acnes but nothing seems to work. If anything, the condition of my skin got worse. Before I go on, let me briefly tell you the condition of my skin prior to Accutane.

Ever since I hit puberty, I've had the oiliest and shiniest skin. After cleansing my face and applying all the necessary products afterwards, oil will start to build up less than an hour later. With that being said, it's pretty obvious that my skin is very much prone to acne. I never had severe acnes growing up - just a few breakouts here and there, especially when it's going to be "that time of the month". So, I didn't really see it as a problem then.

However, I realised my skin got worse during college. At first, I thought it was maybe because of the air and water here since Sarawak does have cleaner air and filtered water (it's a fact that Sarawak waters are cleaner ok don't hate me). I didn't really mind my complexion until I took a good, long look at myself in the mirror one day and realised how much acnes I have from my face. My self-esteem instantly went down the drain - and I didn't even have that much self-esteem, to begin with!!

So, last year in August, I decided to go for a consultation at Ko Skin Specialist Setia Alam branch, to know what's causing this breakout and what can I do to treat them. After the consultation, I got to know that my acnes were mainly due to bad diet and excessive face-touching using my unclean hands (lol). I don't know why I acted so shocked when I heard that because I know it's legitimate and true HAHA. I used to live in a neighbourhood where the KFC and Burger King drive-thru was less than 2KM away from my house, and fast food deliveries take less than 15 minutes to arrive at my doorsteps. It was definitely easier for me to take away fast food than to wait an additional 10 minutes for my food to be done at a cafe or restaurant. I'm also very guilty of not drinking enough mineral water. As long as I have teh ais (iced tea) that day, I can live already tf. 

I also like to touch my face and pop my own pimples. When I was in the consultation room, I kept touching my face without realising and I think the dermatologist got so frustrated at that sight, she freaking slapped my hand so that I'd stop omg. But it only worked for 5 minutes because after that I touched my face again hahaha. 

After explaining the main cause of my breakouts, the derm recommended I try out Accutane to see if it'd work on me. If anyone wants to know the price of the pills, I tell you first lah it's very expensive. The derm insisted I take the pills every day, so I had 30 pills for a month supply. It was RM180 altogether. Derm also gave me antibiotics, which cost me RM60. I know it's a little pricey for some people since you're only paying for pills but nothing else seemed to work for me. I had nothing, but my cash to lose. 

Here is a photo of me taken in August 2016, before Accutane.

fuck can you see the sadness in my eyes hahaha

Anyway, this is how I look like now; 6 months of Accutane. 

Disclaimer: I only had my eye-makeup and lipstick on. No foundation or powder.

The difference is really significant. Overall, Accutane really did help a lot in reducing pimples. HOWEVER, the side effects that come with this were crazy. If you count side effects as cons, then the cons of Accutane definitely outweigh the pros. Some of the side effects I experienced were depression, severe breakouts during the first few weeks (supposed to happen), dry skin and scalp; and chapped lips.

2016, in general, was a rather shitty year for me and I already felt down and sad before Accutane. And I think Accutane led me deeper into the "depression hole". I had friendship problems, personal problems, academic problems. All sorts of problems lah, you name it. I usually don't care about petty friendship issues because I've had friends come and go (and sometimes come back again) too many times already, so it's not something I'm not used to. However, a few weeks into Accutane, I felt like my life is slowly falling apart, and I've made all the wrong life choices and now I have to deal with the consequences. I just fell into deep depression. I honestly felt like I was alone. I have friends to hang out with most of the time, but I don't know why I still feel empty. I'm just never satisfied with whatever I had at that time. 

My dry skin was also another problem. My derm actually told me my skin might get severely dry when taking the pills, but my dumb ass thought it was going to only dry out my face. Apparently not. I have to slather on two pumps of lotion after every shower because my skin is so scaly and itchy. Even waxing my skin is painful for me now. This is a little TMI but, the sides of my inner thighs are constantly dry and itchy, and sometimes it's really uncomfortable for me to walk or even sit down. I'm even afraid to pee for I am scared of the stinging sensation I might feel on my inner thigh wtf.

Nonetheless, the pills seem to work really well for me. After my recent visit to Ko Skin Specialist, my derm told me to reduce my intake (yay!) to a few times a week. Hopefully, I can stop taking Accutane completely by June 2017. 

So there you have it, my thoughts on Accutane. If any of you have severe breakouts and find that whatever product you use, and no matter how much water you drink your acne still wont go away, do consider going to a skin specialist for a consultation. Sometimes, breakouts might be due to hormonal changes, and it's relieving (for me, at least) to know the main cause of your breakouts so that you can know how to properly treat them.

That's all, for now. XX.

28 December 2016

Resolutions: 2017

It's that time of the year again. People are listing out their new year's resolutions and are motivated to achieve them. I myself have a list for 2017's resolutions. I can't remember what my resolutions were for 2016 because I wasn't serious nor was I keen in achieving them. With that being said, 2016 was by far the shittiest year in my nineteen years of existence. It's safe to say that I've spent half of this year crying, having anxiety, and going through immense stress and depression. The internet made fun of Kylie Jenner when she said 2016 was going to be a year of "realising things", but we have to admit she is damn on point about it. 

I realised I shouldn't waste my time on people - close friends or acquaintances - who don't put as much effort in me when I put so much in them. I also realised that everyone will hit a very low point in life; I just happened to be in my lowest at 19, where I had an existential crisis and was sure that I screwed up my future by taking up a bachelors degree in something I'm not sure if I'm interested in. Ah, life. Okay, enough about realising things, here are my 2017 resolutions.

  1. Be physically, mentally and emotionally stronger.
  2. Not waste time on people who don't put effort on you.
  3. Get good grades and study overseas.
  4. Eat less junk food.
  5. Get rid of your insecurities.
  6. Have a fixed daily schedule (to avoid procrastination)
  7. Achieve all your goals.
  8. Spend less time on social media.
  9. Be happy. 
Now all I have to do is keep them until the end of the year haha.

Much love,

13 December 2016

10 Lessons I've Learned in 19 Years

Happy birthday to me. I'm officially 19 years old, and I'm feeling all sorts of emotions. I'm sad that this will be my last year being a teenager. I've lost interest in celebrating birthdays because, last year on my birthday, I locked myself in my room and cried; none of my friends and family was free to celebrate with me, and all I wanted last year was a proper family dinner but the only people home were me and my eldest sister. I guess I was influenced by the western media and how they portray 18th birthdays as a celebration that should be celebrated with such grand.  I don't want to disappoint myself and make myself cry like last year, so I don't really expect anything from my friends and family this year. Hell, I'm going to buy myself a present because I deserve it and who else is more worthy to buy what I want than myself?

Here are 19 life lessons I've learned in 19 years. Every day is a struggle, but I'm surviving. 

1. Nothing will go your way when you expect it to
e.g: expecting a birthday surprise or birthday party for your 18th birthday from your loved ones. #LowkeyStillSaltyAboutIt #DontWantToExperienceThatAnymore

2. When there's a will, there's a way
My life motto. This motivates me to reach my daily goals, like attempting to park in a tight parking spot and succeed.

3. The only person who hates you the most is you
Dear self, stop doing your haters a favour by criticising yourself. Love you for who you are. 

4. Trust no one
I've lost count of the times I've been backstabbed by people I call friends. 19 years. It took me 19 years to realise there are people out there who will use you for what you have and own. Sadly I had to learn this the hard way.

5. Keep your social circle close and small
You don't need a big group of friends if you're going to end up lonely and betrayed at the end of the day. There is only a few of them who will be there for you when you need someone the most. Those are the friends you should treasure.

6. Stop acting so tough on the outside when you're breaking down on the inside
It's okay to feel vulnerable sometimes. Everyone has their bad days and some have it worst than you. Don't act like everything will be okay when you know it won't. Let it out. Cry. Call your best friend(s). Watch a movie. Feeling tough on the outside won't make you feel tough on the inside. 

7. In order to find love, you have to love yourself first
Everyone has insecurities, and you're no exception. But that doesn't give you the right to hate your appearance and bring down your self-esteem. How are you going to find someone who will love you for who you are, when you can't even love yourself?

8. It's okay to be alone, even when you're lonely
Don't be embarrassed to eat alone, shop alone, or even hang out after class alone. Sometimes, it's better to have a day all to yourself and clear out your thoughts. Call it mental detox, if you may. 

9. Self-discipline is key
Motivate yourself to be a better you. Don't lie on your bed and complain how you ugly and fat you look, drink more water and work your way to success. 

10. Think twice, if not thrice when deciding on future life choices
Don't follow what other people have to say about your choices. At the end of the day, it's you who have to go through all the ups and downs, and your happiness is what's important.

This is honestly the lowest point of my life, and I ask God every day why am I faced with such tough problems. Nonetheless, I know good days will come someday because I believe that no one is sad forever. I will find my happiness - and when I do - that will be the day I am strong mentally, emotionally and physically. 

23 November 2016

The Lazy Workout for Lazy People

I am probably the last person you should trust in giving workout advices because I am the laziest and most unfit person alive. Due to that, I know just the workout for people like me, who want to get more fit and healthy but can never find the motivation to get up from the bed or sofa.

If you expect this workout to make you look like Adriana Lima or Nick Jonas in a span of one month, I suggest you to find another workout plan. This workout plan is dedicated to those who don't have much time to workout, or don't want to sacrifice 15 minutes of their time to complete a regular workout routine (read: me). Believe it or not, this workout can be done in 4 minutes and no equipments are required.

This workout plan is inspired by a workout app I got from the App Store called Quick 4. With Quick 4, you can have a full body workout done in just 4 minutes. This app is free and, after using this app for a month, I can guarantee you will have a more toned body. I bought a Punjabi suit a month before my sister's big day (my sister's wedding was Indian themed) and it was really tight around the chest area. Curse you, boobies. One month later, I lost boob fat and my Punjabi suit fit me perfectly :')

ok ah this picture doesn't do much justice, just wanted to show off my suit lmao

I admit, I have been slacking a lot after my sister's wedding because, I had no motivation and reason to lose weight anymore. I used to go on the app every day, and I didn't change my eating habit except completely cutting off soda. After that, I only used the app a few times a week, then once a week, then forgetting about the app's existence. However, I have decided (like, yesterday) to continue where I left off because being insecure about my body and not doing anything about it isn't going to make me any better!!!!!!!!

I'm going to list down a few of the workouts I do from this app, and add a few I like to do because I always replace burpees with something else. I hate burpees. Enjoy!

Let me know if this workout works for you! xx

18 August 2016

[REVIEW] Innisfree Jeju Volcanic Nose Pack

I'm back with another review! This time round, I'm going to review a Korean product and personally for skin care, I prefer Korean brands for skin care because I find it to be more gentle than most western brands. Korean products (or Asian products in general) also tend to be more on the "natural" side, in the sense that the products do not contain a lot of harsh chemicals which is great if you have sensitive skin. 

I am a big fan of Innisfree and I personally think their products works so well on my skin because it's so gentle and sensitive skin-friendly. Not to mention, affordable which is important for students like me who has a tight budget.

I bought this nose pack a month ago and I only had the time to try them out now. The last time I used any type of nose pore strip was years ago and I didn't really see that much difference it made on my nose. However, back then my skin was almost flawless so, I would like to think that I didn't really have much blackheads then lol lol. My skin right now is in its worst state; my pores are clogged, I have blackheads and whiteheads on my forehead, nose and chin area. 

I've seen a lot of articles and videos about how pore strips in general is not good for your skin, as it makes your pores appear larger or something like that but I decided to just, screw it and try it anyway #rebel. So, without further ado here is my review on the Jeju Volcanic Nose Pack.

p a c k a g i n g
The packaging is pretty simple and I like that. One thing I like about Innisfree is that they're products are eco-friendly and made from natural ingredients. The packaging is recyclable and the ink is printed with soy ink. So, that's a plus point for me.

p r o d u c t
Just like any other pore strip, you have to first dampen your nose before you apply the sheet. Then, remove the film on the sheet and place it on the centre of your nose. Once you're done with that, wait 15 minutes for the sheet to fully dry. Then, remove the sheet slowly and see the results! Make sure to wash your nose to remove any residue.

Personally, it did remove some of my blackheads as you can see in the picture but it didn't remove most of it. Which results to an unclean feeling on my nose. I still feel some roughness around my nose area but I've only used this once, so I can't expect this sheet to 100% remove my blackheads with one try.

As I'm writing this, it has been 30 minutes since I removed the sheet and I have to say that my nose is feeling really itchy and tingly right now. I don't know if this product doesn't suit my skin or something but I remember I had the same problem when I used the Biore pore pack too. So, I think all pore packs leave me with an itchy nose. 

So the question here is,
Will I repurchase? I don't think so. For a product that costs RM30 (for 6 individual strips), I expect it to do wonders to my skin but I think nose strips found in drugstores can do a better job than this. And it's cheaper.

Do I recommend this? I don't know. I mean, there are some pros and cons for this product. I mean, it's all natural and there's no harsh ingredients and undoubtedly it works, but not as well as I hoped. Maybe I just set expectations a bit too high for this one.

Overall rating: 3/5

Thank you so much for reading this post and I hope you find this review helpful. Let me know if this worked for you, or if there's a nose pack better than this. 
Til then, xx.

Love Somebody - Ta-ku feat. Wafia